Sunday, February 8, 2015

Reader Response draft 1

Reader Response draft one 

The author mentions that writing and rewriting your own stories “can lead to behavioral changes”.

Personally, I believe that writing and editing our own stories does not significantly result in behavioral changes, the most vital factor is our beliefs.
 Your mind is much more powerful than you imagine, the belief is able to shape the way you act and change your behaviors. Writing down our stories is not strong enough to lead to behavioral change, while beliefs enable us to achieve that.

One example given by the author shows that students who edited their own narratives about college, as compared to those who did not, turned out to be more successful in their academics. However, the underlying crucial factor in this study was trying to convince students believe that it is common to struggle with studies in their first year and they would be able to adept the new life with time pass by. The positive results obtained significantly because students were with belief that they are capable to change such adverse situation. This example actually reinforces my viewpoint that your belief is, in fact, the most influential factor that can lead to behavioral changes rather than writhing and rewriting your stories.

Another is example is that, if you say, “I’m not a science student, I can only study arts related subjects” then that belief works as an easy excuse for you to avoid practicing and solving scientific or mathematical questions. This, in a short term, probably can prevent you from failing in academics if you only take arts courses, but in the long run, your capability to learn, improve, and develop new skills will largely be weakened. This is how the mindset affects us. Such situation can only be changed by changing your belief and fixed mindset, by convincing yourself to try something that you are not good at rather than avoid them. In this case, I believe that just writing down what you need to do to remind yourself will not necessarily lead to behavioral changes, while belief enable us to maximize our potentials and encourage us to overcome challenges.

Additionally, comparing with expressive writing, another stronger factor that can engender behavioral changes is one’s intension that is determined by an individual’s attitude.  Theories of attitude– behavior relations, models of health behavior, and goal theories all converge on the idea that intention is the key determinant of behavior (summaries by Abraham, Sheeran, & Johnston, 1998; Austin & Vancouver, 1996; Conner & Norman, 1996; Eagly & Chaiken, 1993; Gollwitzer & Moskowitz, 1996; Maddux, 1999). One with intention to achieve certain goals has strong self-motivation, which can lead to behavior change to in a significant way. Writing down plans and aims, undeniably, acting as a checklist as well as a reminder, enables us to have a proper schedule. While, whether one will take action or not is mainly depending on his intention and attitude.


In a meta-analysis of 422 studies involving 82,107 participants indicated that intentions accounted for 28% of the variance in behavior on average. Meta-analyses of correlational studies suggested that intentions affect behavior significantly, based on standard estimates of effect size (Cohen, 1992).

1 comment:

  1. Organization:
    1. Is the writer’s thesis appropriate in relation to the summary?
    a. Need to make clearer stand. The first sentence looks more like an example as there is another supporting idea in the 2nd half of the RR
    2. Does the thesis contain a focused controlling idea?
    a. Need more substantial examples
    3. Does the transition sentence/paragraph between the summary and the
    response seem well connected to/cohesive with both?
    a. We are able to see the link between the summary and response.
    4. Do the supporting ideas in the response seem well connected with the thesis?
    a. Evidence has to support ideas better. Ideas have to be linked to the point and the main idea. No linking back
    5. Are the supporting ideas well connected to each other?
    a. Can be clearer but we are able to understand

    Language Use:

    1. Is the language in the summary clear?
    a. Yes
    2. Is the language in the rest of the essay clear?
    a. Yes. Minor mistakes like sentence structure and spelling error.
    3. Is the thesis clearly articulated?
    a. Can be clearer. Organization can be reviewed. Example, Point, explanation then example. The current one lacks topic sentence in most of the paragraphs
    4. As the writer summarizes the original article, is there accurate use of reporting
    verbs?
    a. Yes
    5. Throughout the reader response has verb tense been appropriately used?
    a. Minor mistakes.
    6. Are there any paragraphs that seem unclear to you? (list them by number)
    a. The last paragraph. Paragraph 6. Unsure if it is a point or example or?
    7. Have transitions been properly used?
    a. Some sentences that can be reviewed
    “Additionally, comparing with expressive writing,” “As compared to expressive writing”
    8. Does the reader response have any issues with punctuation?
    9. Does the writer appropriately present ideas for an academic audience?
    a. Should change use 3rd person instead of 1st person.

    You can ask us if you have any questions:)

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