In today’s society there is an increasing trend that social media websites are causing anxiety among users, since the social media actually makes people feel inadequate and creates excess fear and pressure. Additionally, social anxiety that is a syndrome of social media anxiety disorder will be gradually acquired when an individual frequently using social media, and this in turn, will adversely affect one’s mental and physical health. Many symptoms of social media anxiety are apparent in social anxiety disorder, including anxiousness, nervousness when talking in front of people etc.
Such phenomenon is especially prominent in the U.S. where half of the adults and three-quarters of all teenagers are active SNS users(Hampton, Goulet, Marlow, & Rainie, 2012), and it has been highlighted that after alcoholism and depression, social anxiety disorder is the third largest psychological disorder in the U.S. Today’s society has been shifted to be technology and internet dependent, people will be shocked if someone never use social media at all, and recent studies indicated that people do feel anxious and uncomfortable if they are unable to login to their social networking accounts.
To minimize and address the negative effects of using social media, people should focus on limiting the time of using social media and consciously unplug for extended days. It is commonly known that whatever is in excess is bad. If one is getting no substantial return from using social sites like Facebook and Twitter throughout the whole day, he has to cut ties with social media websites purposely, and social networking should be limited. Virtually every person who over uses social sites experiences some mental issues in regard to their usage. Taking breaks helps one clear his mind. Pulling back also improves the overall effectiveness of social media campaign. Currently, there are some applications and tools available to assist people in controlling the time of using social media networks. For instance, Rescue Time’s website is designed to control the time that users would have spent on social media to be within 4 hours per week. This program is also capable to ban certain websites, and track and log how much time one spend on particular websites or applications that he specified. Additionally, another useful application is Facebook Limiter, which is created to disconnect users with Facebook and YouTube. Especially beneficial for parents who have children with problem of social media anxiety, since with assistance of this software, they are empowered to block Facebook entirely, restrict the time of using Facebook or make it accessible at a specific time in a day (Frence, A. 2012). Social media anxiety can be progressively treated if one can control himself very well and unplug into the social media websites for extended days.
There is no denying that applications designed to limit the time of using social media websites serve to achieve higher realization in solving social media anxiety. However, this may not be effectively conducted, as not everyone has the equal power to control and discipline themselves routinely.
Whether the social media anxiety can be effectively solved or not is mainly depending on one’s awareness and self-control capability. Therefore, education and cognitive methods can be applied to address this problem. A recent study obtained results that forty-five percent of respondents felt uneasy and worried when they were unable to log in to their online networking accounts, while 60 percent of them reflected that they have to switch off their phones and computers so as to ensure a full-fledged break form social media(Fitzgerald, 2012). This indicates that people do feel anxious if they are not being on social networking sites, implying that their mental-health are negatively affected. Hence, the most effective and fundamental solution for social media anxiety should involve many cognitive therapies, strategies and concepts that will permit change within a person’s brain.
Based on cognitive behavioral treatment (CBT), people are guided to understand and be aware of adverse consequences of adequately using social media websites and to know that emotions, like waves, are temporary and fluctuating. With fully carrying out cognitive behavioral therapy, people need to keep on practicing and developing this method over and over again, it will become habitual and automatic. This affects one’s brain operating processes, making people feel, think and behave differently, which in turn will lead to noticeable improvements. One of the behavioral strategies in CBT is that a group formed with people who have similar social media anxiety issue is engaged in practical activities that are normally anxiety-causing, and proceed in a flexible and scheduled way. By continuous practicing, anxious feeling will be gradually reduced, better outcome obtained (Richards, T. ). Therefore, cognitive strategies should be approached so as to address the problem of social media anxiety effectively.
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References
Fitzgerald, B. (2012, December 7). Social Media Is Causing Anxiety, Study Finds. Retrieved March 4, 2015, from The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/social-media-anxiety_n_1662224.html
Social Media Anxiety Disorder. (2015, February 7). Retrieved March 5, 2015, from http://etec.ctlt.ubc.ca/510wiki/Social_Media_Anxiety_Disorder
Farfan Jr., G. (2012, November 18). Running Head: SOCIAL ANXIETY IN THE AGE OF SOCIAL NETWORKS Social Anxiety in the Age of Social Networks. Retrieved March 4, 2015, from https://www.academia.edu/7234612/Running_Head_SOCIAL_ANXIETY_IN_THE_AGE_OF_SOCIAL_NETWORKS_Social_Anxiety_in_the_Age_of_Social_Networks
French, A. (2012, April 3). Boost your productivity by blocking yourself! Retrieved March 6, 2015, from http://www.sheknows.com/living/articles/955407/programs-that-limit-your-time-on-social-media
Richards, T. (n.d.). Comprehensive Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy For Social Anxiety Disorder. Retrieved March 6, 2015, from https://socialanxietyinstitute.org/comprehensive-cognitive-behavioral-therapy-social-anxiety-disorder
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (Precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDeleteI like how you bring in interesting information such as cognitive behavioural treatment to support your argument. The second paragraph is also well developed as it proves the necessity of curbing social anxiety disorder by limiting the use of social networking sites.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualised in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
Yes, I understand that your problem is about how the pervasive use of social networking sites will affect the personal well being of individuals. However, I am not sure where is your thesis found. In addition, I think it would be better if you put in evidences (i.e. prove why “the social media actually makes people feel inadequate and creates excess fear and pressure”, and why “It is commonly known that whatever is in excess is bad.”) to make your essay more concrete and convincing. Also, because you only talk about mental health in your essay, I think you do not need to include how the use of social media will adversely affect the physical health of individuals.
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
I think it would be better if you cite more evidences to support the need to limit the use of social networking sites. However, I do like how you evaluate the solution by talking about Rescue time and Facebook Limiter.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
I think there are rooms for improvement for the second solution. I understand your point, but I think it would be better to rearrange it to make your essay flow better. For instance, you can talk about cognitive behavioural treatment in paragraph 5 instead of the last paragraph, before you bring in evidences from paragraph 5 to support your argument.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
ReplyDeleteFrom what I understood from your essay,
Paragraph 1: identification of the problem of how the pervasive use of social media will affect the mental well being of individuals
Paragraph 2: evidence that emphasised how such problem is crucial and needs to be tackled immediately
Paragraph 3: Solution 1 – limiting the use of social networking sites
Paragraph 4: the limitations of solution 1 and how it actually boils down to cognitive behavioural treatment
Paragraph 5 and 6: how cognitive behavioural treatment is more efficient
I think the part that requires further elaboration is your thesis statement. You need to be more specific and perhaps it would be better if you focus on a target group (i.e. youths, working adults, young children etc.). I think more evidences can be cited to prove your point and make the essay more convincing, or else many of your points are just passing statements.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
Yes, you have effectively used outside sources to illustrate your problem and solutions. However, just like what I have mentioned earlier, more evidences can be used! (:
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
I can understand your point and what you are trying to convey through your essay. However, I think the essay needs a bit more polishing to make the points flow well and make your essay easier to read. And I think it would be better to end with a conclusion to summarise your points so that readers are more aware of what you are trying to say when they finish reading the previous paragraphs.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
The points I found confusing are:
· “In today’s society there is an increasing trend that social media websites are causing anxiety among users, since the social media actually makes people feel inadequate and creates excess fear and pressure.” -> why does social networking sites make people feel inadequate and create fear and pressure?
· You don’t have to include “nervousness when talking to people” as one of the symptoms if you are not going to discuss about it
· “It is commonly known that whatever is in excess is bad.” -> why do you say that?
· “Virtually every person who over uses social sites experiences some mental issues in regard to their usage.” -> what kind of issues??
· “Pulling back also improves the overall effectiveness of social media campaign.” -> what kinds of campaigns are there?
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
ReplyDeleteI think the references are written wrongly. I think it should be:
Fitzgerald, B. (2012, November 7). Social media is causing anxiety, study finds. The Huffington Post. Retrieved from http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/social-media-anxiety_n_1662224.html
Instead of:
Fitzgerald, B. (2012, December 7). Social Media Is Causing Anxiety, Study Finds. Retrieved March 4, 2015, from The Huffington Post: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/07/10/social-media-anxiety_n_1662224.html
Only the first letter of the first word of the title needs to be capitalized.
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
· Give more elaboration on the symptoms of social media anxiety disorder and how it is problematic
· What studies are there to indicate that “people do feel anxious and uncomfortable if they are unable to login to their social networking accounts”?
· “If one is getting no substantial return from using social sites like Facebook and Twitter throughout the whole day, he has to cut ties with social media websites purposely, and social networking should be limited.” -> it is better to say “he should cut ties with social media” instead of “he has to cut ties with social media”. Also, cutting ties with social media websites might be too extreme, so you can say limit the use of social media websites instead.
· Write about the cognitive behavioural treatment in paragraph 5 and use the evidences on the paragraph to support CBT
· Include conclusion
1. What do you like the best about the ideas in this essay? Be specific. (precise vocabulary, cohesive/linked ideas, clear/easy to follow discussion, convincing, effective reasoning/argument, well-developed ideas, well-supported topic sentences, understandable transitions, etc.)
ReplyDelete- I like that your problem is quite unique and it is something that I have never thought about.
2. Is there a clear, narrowly-focused problem presented in the essay? Is it contextualized in the intro? Is it expressed well in the thesis?
- There is a clear focus in the essay. However, you can make it more focussed if you identify a specific target group.
3. How well is the first solution described? How effectively is that solution evaluated?
-I like this solution, however I think that it can be more thoroughly analysed. You could evaluate the effectiveness of this solution based on research to show how it has failed/succeeded.
4. How well is the second solution described? Is it effectively connected to a positive outcome?
- I don’t really understand what your suggestion is, you need to elaborate on what ‘education and cognitive methods’ are. The study that you used is good. You mentioned the cognitive strategy, but there is no direct link as to how it can actually solve anxiety issues.
5. Are there any ideas in the essay that need further development? Which parts of the essay require further elaboration?
-I think the main issues lie in your solutions. You have clearly stated your problem, but there is no clear link between how the solutions can help to solve the issue. Maybe find sources to prove that this solution can help solve anxiety issues, or explain your solution in greater detail.
6. Does the writer effectively use outside source material to illustrate the problem and/or the solutions?
-It would be good if you had citations for the first paragraph, to support your claim that such anxiety disorders do exist.
7. What is your impression of the flow of the content?
-The flow is smooth and generally easy to read.
8. Are there any ideas in the essay that are not clear or that you find confusing? Underscore/ highlight these.
9. Are the citations used in this essay appropriate? Are the reporting verbs effectively used? Does the reference list adhere to the APA guidelines?
10. Can you give a couple specific suggestions for how the writer could most improve this essay?
- Sign posting would be good. You could make your transitions clearer. I would also advise that you put your evaluation of your 4th paragraph with your 3rd paragraph.
-There are some grammatical errors in your essay, proof reading it before you submit your 2nd draft would be advised.
Eg: ‘Today’s society has been shifted to be technology and internet dependent,people will be shocked if someone never use social media at all’ (verb tense)